Five Times Kissed & Forever Missed
by LadySaraMalfoy
Summary: "It was nothing special, no big deal or anything that was built up to. It just sort of happened, quick & as light as a feather. It had felt right." Five times Stiles Stilinski & Allison Argent found a bit of light in the darkness surrounding them.


I have no idea what the formatting is, or what I'm doing really but this was something I needed to get out of my head since the dynamic between these two has always been a favorite of mine — the last two humans in a world full of monsters. Though their strength wasn't of the supernatural kind, it was strength all the same. _**Reviews**_ would mean the world, honestly.

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing that you recognize. Let's be real here if I did 3b would have ended a _lot_ differently. #iwillneverbeoverit

* * *

It was nothing special, no _big deal_ or anything that was BUILT UP to.  
It just sort of… happened, quick **&** as light as a feather

 **&** it had felt **right**.

Her **&** Scott had decided to part ways, **&** though it _hurt_ **&** she often fond her gaze straying to him, she had to believe it was for the best.

❝Would it be… _weird_ if I asked if you wanted to hang out tonight?❞

The words are _out there_ before she can take them back, casually spoken as he's rummaging through his locker for something or another. She waits, eyes taking in the way his shoulders HUNCH just a little bit, **&** she can practically see the _narrowed_ eyes **&** confused expression he's no-doubt sporting.

She misses Scott, but what she misses even more is being normal. Going out for a pizza, laughing over a dumb movie, being a _teenager_ again. _(_ After all, they're just a _bunch of teenagers_ —- with a little **DARKNESS** in their hearts. _)_ She asks _him_ of all people because Stiles? She doesn't have to worry about Stiles.

 **&** he _knows_ , so she doesn't have to lie to him. GOD she's so _tired_ of lying.

He finally turns around.

❝Weird? As in you **&** my best friend dated **&** he's still sending puppy dog eyes your way weird? Because that's _totally_ not weird.❞

She can't help it, she's biting back a smile.

❝You forgot the part where I found out he was a werewolf **&** my family sort of wanted him dead.❞

He makes a sweeping gesture with his hands as if to say _there you go_.

But there's still a silent query in his eyes.  
 **&** she takes it as her opening.

❝Look, I'm just asking for pizza **&** a movie. You can even pick the movie **&** a topping. It'll be fine, nobody's going to jump to the wrong conclusion or make it a _bigger_ deal than it really is. **&** if the puppy dog eyes thing is true—- you **&** I isn't exactly something Scott will worry about.❞

❝Wait, _okay_ what do you mean I'm not something Scott will worry about? I mean, not that I _want_ Scott to worry about you **&** me—- **&** us hanging out— as friends—❞

She's not even bothering to hide the _smile_ anymore.

 **&** GOD it's been so long since she's last smiled  & really meant it.

❝—- why are you smiling at me like that?❞

❝ _Because_ Stiles, you're in love with my _best friend_ , remember? _Everyone_ knows that. It's totally not because I wouldn't find you interesting, which I'm sure you are.❞

❝Oh—- _right_. That. Wait—- what do you mean you're _sure_ I am?❞

❝I wouldn't _know_ , seeing as I was too busy dating your best friend to notice.❞

❝Well played, Argent. Fine. Yes, I'm coming.  
—- Have you seen Star Wars? Because I've been asking Scott… ❞

She doesn't even hear the rest of his words.

That was the first time.  
Not _the_ first time.

But the first time Stiles Stilinski made Allison Argent _smile_.

* * *

When he finally _did_ come over, he even got a laugh out of her. She doesn't even stop to think if he can hear how **HOLLOW** it sounds. _Or_ notice Chris checking in on them with an almost _wide-eyed_ expression.

He doesn't even bother them when it gets really late ** &** they don't even realize.

It happens when she's saying goodnight, he's at the door with a small smile on his face _(_ she wonders when the last time she'd seen _that_ was _)_ **&** he's telling her how it wasn't _nearly_ as _horrible_ as he thought it would be.

❝I know, & here I thought I would have to find some sort of excuse to end the night early.❞

He's out the door, **&** he's turning around to give her one last wave _goodbye_ **&** she surprises him.

Surprises _both_ of them really.

It's a small peck on the cheek, _feather light_ **&** _sweet_.

❝Thanks for coming.❞

She's not sure who's face was a funnier sight—- his when he left, or hers when she finally shut the door.

* * *

❝You're ruining my _game_ Allison. Guys may not find _me_ intimidating, but you sure as hell scare all the girls away.❞

❝Wait wait—- you have game?❞

❝Oh yeah _ha ha_. Real funny. Now my odds of getting kissed for the night are even _worse_ than they usually are **&** that's _really_ saying something.❞

They're at a party, surrounded by colored lights **&** closely packed bodies. It's not their scene, not what they usually do on their little _hang outs_ , but it's _different_.

 **&** in their lives? Different is GOOD.

❝Care to _bet_ on that?❞

❝Yeah, yeah I would. Might as well get _something_ out of tonight.❞

❝Okay, so you're betting that you're not going to get kissed by the end of the night by any of the girls here?❞

❝Ten bucks.❞

❝—- _twenty_.❞

❝Sure, more money fo—❞

Their second kiss tasted of her _laughter_ **&** again, of his surprise.

❝You _owe_ me.❞

* * *

They're in her room studying. She's been having trouble with econ **&** she wonders if he somehow knows that, because he just _showed up_ at her door with his book **&** notes. Chris hadn't even told her he was here, he'd just _let him in_.

They're sprawled out on her bed, side by side, papers _strewn_ out before them.

❝This doesn't make _sense_.❞

He turns to see what it is that doesn't seem to make sense _this_ time _(_ what DOES make sense in this life of theirs though? _)_ , but all thoughts of economy **&** sense are _**dashed**_ the moment he _really_ sees her—- ankles crossed, eyes narrowed in _concentration_ , nose scrunched up just a _bit_ , the way she does when she's deep in thought, **&** lips slightly parted.

He doesn't even really think about it.

He _really_ should have.

He **CLOSES** the distance between them, **&** presses his lips to hers.

It takes about _two seconds_ before reality kicks in, punching him in the GUT—- _alarm bells_ going off, telling him this was a _really really_ bad idea.

Possibly his WORST.  
 **&** he's had some _pretty_ bad ideas.

Just ask Scott.  
Oh _God_ , Scott.

Before she can react, he pulls back.

❝I should go.❞

 **&** he crumples up some of the papers, stuffing them in his book, out her door in SECONDS.

Their third kiss had tasted just a bit of _desperation_ along with surprise, this time hers.

* * *

She's standing by his desk, their last class, econ, having just ended. Everyone is in such a _rush_ to get out of class **&** go home, they don't even notice the lone figure that REMAINS, fingers clenched tightly around a small stack of papers. Nor do they notice the occupant of said desk carefully putting everything away with almost _too much_ deliberation.

They haven't spoken in two _weeks_. It's the longest SILENCE they've had since the pizza **&** a movie.

When he doesn't look up, a small sigh spills from her lips before she places the papers on his desk.

❝You left your notes at my house that day you—- the day we—- ❞

He finally does break the **SILENCE** , not able to _stand_ the way she's stumbling over it.

❝Got it, thanks.❞

Without looking up, without even seeing the papers, he tosses them in his backpack—- such a stark _contrast_ with how deliberate he had been with his other stuff not a minute ago.

She doesn't leave.

He finally looks up.

❝Is that it then?❞

❝Is **_what_** it?❞

❝ ' _Thanks Allison_.' ❞

❝What do you _want_ me to say?❞

❝I don't know! Something that doesn't sound like a _goodbye_ , maybe?❞

He hadn't even said goodbye when he'd left that day.

❝I'm sorry.❞

It's like a **SLAP** in the face.

❝I don't _want_ an apology Stiles. What you did, what happened, it doesn't—- ❞

❝Allison stop.❞

❝—- we can just IGNORE it. I mean—❞

❝ _Please_.❞

❝—- that's what _you_ —-❞

He does it again, this time because he can't _stand_ to hear it, hear _any_ of it. The way her voice is close to _breaking_ , the way her eyes seem sadder than they have in a while, the way she's almost _begging_ for something.

He knows he can't do it.

He **CAN'T**.

❝I'm sorry.❞

 **&** then, he leaves.  
Again.

Because she wants to ignore it, **&** he _can't_.  
He can't stop thinking about it.

Their fourth kiss had tasted of _desperation_ , no longer subtle, nor just _his_ or hers.

* * *

She's been pacing in the classroom for the past fifteen minutes. Her heart hasn't felt this _alive_ in weeks, beating so **LOUDLY** it's the only thing she can hear.

Thank God, or else she'd have to hear her own thoughts, **&** right now, she _can't_ think.

Finally, _finally_ she sees him. Before he knows what's happening, the door is flung open **&** he's dragged inside the empty classroom.

He's all _flailing_ limbs **&** sputtered words of protest until he realizes who it is.

❝You've been AVOIDING me.❞

❝Avoiding you? No I've just been… not … wherever you are.❞

She doesn't miss a beat. Doesn't play along.

❝Why?❞

❝Why have I not been around? I mean I've been busy **&** there's all these tests **&** stuff **&** I've had _things_.❞

❝Why?❞

❝Lots of things **&** stuff, really.❞

❝Stiles, _why?_ ❞

He visibly SLUMPS **&** it's almost enough to make her turn around **&** leave, because she can't stand the look in his eyes, can't stand to think that that's because of _her_.

❝Because I had to, just _once_ , before you went back to Scott. Before you left.❞

There's SILENCE, **heavy** **&** ominous. He's looking anywhere but at her. Finally, she breaks it.

❝I'm not the one who keeps _leaving_.❞

❝Come on Allison, who are you kidding? You said so yourself, I'm the one nobody has to worry about.❞

 **&** she reads it in his eyes, the GUILT that's weighing him down, the almost _vulnerable_ way his eyes widen, as if he's begging her to give him answers he can't find.

❝ _God_ Allison, what do you _want_ from me?❞

❝What do _you_ want from me?❞

❝Nothing.❞

 **&** it sounds so genuine, so _real_ , it's like the smile she'd given him that first day. He had given her everything **&** had _never_ asked for anything in return. He wouldn't ask that of her.

 **&** maybe that's why she does it.

❝I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything or… _done_ anything  & I promise I—❞

She knows that if she lets him go on, he _will_ , **&** then he'll be gone again.

This time, she doesn't let him **LEAVE**.

It's soft & gentle, almost like a _ghost_ of the first time, before she's pulling back, eyes searching his, as if waiting for the _answers_ neither of them know how to ask for, nor how to give.

There's a sharp intake of breath, but he's standing absolutely _still_ **&** with a sinking feeling, she takes a small step BACK.

He doesn't let _her_ **leave**.

His fingers reach for hers **&** when she doesn't move, hands moved to hook in the jut of hipbones, pulling her body closer to his.

There had already been too much **SPACE** , too much _distance_.

Their fifth last kiss tasted of _relief_ **&** WONDER, as close to happiness as either of them could get, with darkened hearts  & _tarnished_ souls.

* * *

Their last kiss tasted of something he hadn't thought he could ever feel again, something she had never quite let go of.

 ** _(_** There's _always_ hope. **_)_**

It had tasted of hope.

What it _hadn't_ tasted like was **goodbye**.

Yet that was the closest thing to it that they got, before she _left_ him, just as he had said she would.

He had known something so good couldn't last, not in their world.

What he _hadn't_ known was that their world would no longer be theirs but his, losing one of its own _(_ losing _her_ _)_ **forever**.

The darkness in their hearts was _nothing_ compared to the **darkness** she left behind.


End file.
